Money Questions for Couples
I love a good question.
A good question reveals more than simple facts, it stimulates thought and conversation.
It is hard to have meaningful conversations about money, even with those we are closest with. Life is busy and things get in the way. It can feel daunting to even start a discussion about money.
The list of questions below is a great starting point for these discussions. These questions should set the table for a conversation and not an interrogation. You will not be able to get through them all in one sitting. Give each other time and space to ponder and respond to each question.
Feel free to sprinkle in any of the following after listening to your spouse's response – anything to further your understanding of each other:
Oh, tell me more
Why is that?
What do you mean by that?
Help me understand that better
Want a PDF of these questions?
Background Questions
Our pasts are interwoven with experiences with money that shape how we view it today. A little bit of context goes a long way. Good discussions come from a place of empathy and understanding.
What did you observe about money growing up?
Were your parents good with money? How did they manage their finances?
What lessons did your parents teach you about money (whether directly or indirectly)?
Do you remember ever worrying about money as a kid? If so, what did you worry about?
What is something that your family splurged on that was meaningful or memorable?
Did you have an allowance as a kid? Did your parents tell you how you should spend/save it?
Tell me about a time when you saw someone being generous with money.
Attitude Questions
Each person has a unique attitude with which they approach money. Not everyone wants to achieve the same things with their money. It is important to understand these differences, particularly in a marriage.
What are the best things money can achieve for us?
What are your biggest concerns about our finances?
What are you tempted to splurge on? What are you stingy about?
How do you think we are doing managing our finances?
What do you think about the way I spend money?
What do you think we could do better?
What are the most important things we spend our money on? What about the least important things?
What is the purpose of our money? If we had to write a mission statement for our money, what would it be?
How does our current spending compare to our values?
Would you give money to a relative who needed help financially? Would you expect to be repaid?
Would you ever accept financial help from a family member?
What do we consider “enough” for our family financially? Is this the same answer we would have given 5 years ago?
Planning Questions
What do we want to accomplish in the next 5 years? 10 years? 20 years? 30 years? Are we on track to achieve these goals?
How much will we give away? Who will we give it to? Will we give a specific dollar amount or a percentage of our income? If we give a percentage, will we give based upon our net or gross income?
How would you be impacted financially if something were to happen to me?
What is our plan if one of us becomes disabled?
Are we going to save for our children’s college? How much would we like to pay for?
What are your thoughts on retirement? What will that look like for us? When?
What standard of living do we want to have in retirement?
How long does each of us plan on working?
Will we need childcare for our kids?
Will we send our kids to public school or private school?
What is the likelihood that we will have to provide for either of our parents as they age?
What kind of legacy do we want to leave?